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Resisting Success
Sounds like a strange suggestion that any of us could possibly be resisting success but in fact we are.
Not only that but it’s also a choice.
There are very few people I have met who are not experiencing this, albeit they are completely unconscious of it.
Is this familiar to you?
- You have lots of brilliant ideas and plans, but you tend to put them on ice or on the back burner waiting for the right moment.
- Do you find you procrastinate over actions and decisions?
- Is there always something quick you have to do first?
I mean the list can go on…
Your words start to lose value when your actions don’t follow.
Unknown
What is your resistance?
Resistance as a first thought might be described simply as holding back but often in business, we have to first put something in our way to create resistance. Have you ever built a dam when you were younger and watched the water back up or the flow change direction? Well, this is what our unconscious mind is doing daily to our opportunities and pathways to the success we would dearly like to achieve.
Resistance in action (part one).
My client today has a very successful business. They reap rewards that many would be delighted to say they have.
Are there more to be had…oh my lord indeed there are plenty?
There is money being left on the breakfast table every day by this Client.
Last week they told me how it’s ‘a difficult the climate was for businesses’ When you watch or listen to the news then yes this is what is being broadcast and if you chose to adopt it, as a foregone conclusion to failure and pain, well…that is one heck of duff card to have in your hand. It becomes a barrier to possibilities and creates a subconscious resistance.
Today I held the mirror in front of them and reflected on the numerous ‘brilliant’ ideas we had discussed over the past months, none of which have been actioned.
For each suggestion the response was given, ‘yes but’ and ‘what if’ and ‘I know’ So what is creating the resistance, the obstruction, the flow of success?
Think about it from your perspective.
Reflect on your last month.
- What were the ‘brilliant ideas’ you had?
- The inspired visions of how you want to see your results materialise.
Where are they now?
Are they in your journal, on a post-it note?
Perhaps they languish on a voice note to yourself, or an e-note pad on your phone?
I know that it has become fashionable to talk of the Law of Attraction and many will say they believe in it and subscribe to it. However, very few really understand how proactive they must be within the process.
Resistance is always at an unconscious level.
If you are yet to act on any of last month’s inspirations, then there is potentially an unconscious resistance causing your flow of brilliance to divert.
Just like placing a rock in a river or stream the flow has further to go before it can realign with its journey.
How to breakthrough Resistance.
Do you remember the TV show ‘name that tune’ Well naming your resistance will remove the power or energy from it? It’s like tuning the light on to reveal the shadows in your bedroom when you were a child. When we know what we are dealing with it is less intimidating.
Fear is nearly always the top heading. Fear of rejection, ridicule, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of reality, fear of shame even. However, by recognising yours and naming it how you experience it (this is important. You name it how you experience it) you can start working on removing the offending item, allowing you to re-establish a clear path.
Removing resistance (part two).
Today I took my client back to their comments and suggested that the lack of action being taken was due to a ‘difficult climate and potential disasters looming with a recession on the horizon and suggested that perhaps we reframe this thinking to one which would dismantle the unconscious resistance. We began by naming their fear of failure, fear of vulnerability, fear of loss, and fear of rejection.
We worked instead from the new premise of, today’s climate as it is, being a great leveler for all businesses and business owners.
One where the smaller independents such as my client can use ‘adversity’ to come up trumps.
One where their strengths lay in their agility, flexibility, and freedom of choice. Not having to adhere to ‘red tape’ and pleasing stakeholders.
That, in fact, the landscape of buyers and their habits have changed and will continue to change, and we as business owners must find new ways to adapt to their needs and wants. This is where self-leadership in Business Ownership becomes paramount to success. To have the courage to face your unconscious resistance and have the ability to look at the landscape of your customers from their perspective. This takes courage because you must put yourself in the vulnerable position of accepting new perspectives and untested waters.
Behind the scenes & my own resistance.
You know sometimes the Monthly Musings can feel like yet another job to complete.
I have what I think is a brilliant idea and I note a potential heading down ‘to come back to’, fatal!
It’s when I come back to it in the cold light of day, I feel the ‘resistance of self-doubt’ building.
- What if no one else feels or experiences this?
- Perhaps I can’t share or add value.
The inspired flow and motivation have been diverted to a whole new destination in a moment.
It isn’t until I have named my dam that I can start to write. I acknowledge and name the resistance I feel.
When I understand it, I can decide what I need in order to respond in a helpful way.
For instance,
- self-doubt – Well the themes I write about have come from my client work. So I have evidence that my hypothesis is important enough to explore.
As for value,
- it is the results my clients achieve that allow me the reassurance; I need to say our work adds value.
Often your minds act like Velcro. Snagging your brilliant, inspired thinking on its way to the center for action. These tiny micro hooks form the many fears that go to create our resistance. We have all felt the resistance of Velcro. But taking a good firm grip we can release the resistance.
If you find the resistance that is proving stubborn feel free. Take advantage of one of my complimentary 30-minute connection/clarity calls and let’s see if we can get your flow back.
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